Premature Cancellation Runs Rampant
November 29, 2008Dirty Deeds and the Thunder Chief
December 2, 2008
For many of us women who enjoy romantic fiction, the Alpha Male is the kind of hero fantasies are made of. He is arrogant, strong, demanding, dominant, maddening, and more.
Underneath it all, though, he is simply a great guy. He saves the day. He excites us beyond reason. He is strong and confident enough to enjoy the challenge that an equally strong and independent woman presents to him. In fact, he appreciates a woman with a lot of moxy.
But how does that work in real life? In the real world, a man as arrogant and demanding as the romance hero alpha male can be fairly off-putting. And sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between him and the garden variety jerk or bully.
So what is a woman to do? How does a gal find a guy who has all or some of the positive traits of the Alpha Male without crossing the line into the abusive, domineering SOB that is threatened by a woman who doesn’t cater to his every whim?
The trick is to always listen to your intuition. If that little warning bell goes off inside your head, there is probably something your subconscious mind has picked up on that is being overlooked by your conscious. Think about it – think hard. You’ll figure out what is wrong with the situation.
On the other hand, is it just that this guy makes you a little uncomfortable? Does he try to push you past some limits that maybe you need to get past? For me personally, there are some things I maybe need a little nudge to get over every now and then – especially in the romantic area. The man who recognizes that and forces me to face my fear might make me a little uncomfortable as I work through whatever it is that worries me, but he is doing me a favor in the long-run.
The problem for the Alpha Male, though, is how can he determine when a woman wants or needs to be pushed a little and when does he need to step back? Trust me, I don’t envy the Alpha Male in today’s dating world. It can’t be easy to temper their natural tendencies to take charge with some of us modern women who demand (and deserve) equal footing. And figuring out when such a woman WANTS him to take charge versus when she needs to keep the reins in hand has to be difficult.
3 Comments
Having never met an alpha male, I wouldn’t know what to do with one. My next DH will be a romance hero or I’ll do without. I am totally ok with doing without.
I was at a panel discussing a topic like this and it didn’t really seem like any of us (authors or attendees) could truly agree with each other. I love my alphas in books, but I have to tell you, I’d probably end up murdering a few of them if I had to deal with them every day.
😆 From a male’s prospective, I find that arrogance and cockiness only really works on some women either at the initial meeting or in a club. I find that a woman is easily drawn to the illusion of mystery and curiosity that attracts them to our confidence. Really, for us guys we want to outbest the “other bulls in the room” if I may. To down play the competition and seek the ultimate goal of conquering. We are really truly exactly like all males in most other species. Our existence is only to mate,mate, mate, mate, and mate. LOL .The best males aren’t the loud ones but us quiet mysterious ones that dream the same dreams as you and only wants to be loved as much as the love that we give. You know the ‘perfect love’; But also confident, and not afraid to take chances. And most of all romantic and spontaneous. To treat a lady as if she was a queen in our eyes. The alpha male needs to read Louis L’Amour and then he can truely maintain a balance between arrogance and real life. The one trait Mr. Louis L’Amour writes about all his heroes is how a woman should never walk behind a man but beside him and share all the hardships and blessings and be strong; because a strong man needs a strong woman.