My #MeToo Stories

#MeToo

Being grabbed in the crotch by a strange man in a bar when I was in my twenties – while standing with my boyfriend of the time, who didn’t think it was a big deal.

When I was 18 and my roommate had a platonic male friend over and offered him our couch for the night when he had too much to drink. Within an hour of going to bed, I heard him try to open my bedroom door, which I had fortunately locked.

Being catcalled by countless men since before I even started puberty – men who thought it OK or funny to say vulgar things to an underage girl or an adult woman.

Setting very definite boundaries with men, only to have them think nothing of pushing or breaking them at their own whim.

The male manager at my previous emmployer who called me into a conference room to meet with him alone one day, telling me he needed to address rumours that were circulating in the office that I didn’t wear undergarments. I responded that I most certainly did, but wasn’t sure how I was expected to prove it. Or, WHY I should prove it. Apparently, wearing the undergarments that were appropriate enough for your outer wear that they didn’t show (no lines, no bra straps hanging out, slips when necessary, etc.) made people think I was commando and braless. Or maybe it was just him who thought that.

The man who thought it was OK to place and hold his hand on my lower back in a way that appears possessive the first two times I ever saw him at group dinners in restaurants.

The men who give leering looks that make me feel less safe. The men who make jokes with sexual innuendo directed at me that don’t feel like jokes.

The men who expressed anger at me because I wasn’t interested in them sexually or romantically.

The fact that many men are more likely to back off and respect boundaries when you tell them you have a boyfriend or husband than when they think you are single.

Realizing that many transgressions are so commonplace that they seem insignificant until you start to really think about them.

The countless other incidents with men that have happened and will likely continue to occur that are so numerous I can’t even recall them at this point.